A Dipus date?

This story was written for my Creative Writing: Fiction class at Temple University.

Pick a character from a favorite movie or television show and have lunch with him, go on a road trip, go to an amusement park, or give her a haircut, etc.

Rabbit from “Super Troopers”



Every time I sat in the M’s Cozy Corner, I always took a quick glance over.  He looked so cute sitting there in his tan state trooper uniform, but I never dared to say a word to him.  But one day, he surprised me.

“Excuse me, do you have any syrup?”

“I…what?” I blurted out in surprise.  “Syrup?”

“Yeah, me and my buddies need some syrup over at our table,” he said.

“Err, no, I don’t have any.” I replied back.  This was the first time I was ever able to look at him up close.  His silver nameplate revealed Roto.  I could finally put a name to the face.

“Oh, well, thanks,” he said before heading back to his table with three other officers sitting at it.

I turned back to my pancakes sitting on the counter in front of me.  I looked around for syrup of my own, but to no avail.  The entire diner seemed to be out of it.

“I knew I should have lived in Canada,” I mumbled to myself.

“Go over there and ask her.”

“C’mon, now’s your chance!”

I could hear some low voices wafting over from officer Roto’s table.  I chanced a quick look over and saw all four of them looking at me.  I quickly looked back and felt my face starting to burn as I swirled a piece of pancake around the plate.  What on earth could they be talking about concerning me?

Next thing I knew, officer Roto was standing next to me again.

“Hi!” he said, his voice more high pitched than before.  “Umm…so I was just…uh…wondering…”

I continued to stare at him with the most confused look on my face.  He looked back at his buddies at the table.  They pointed at me and glared at him.  He turned to face my and inhaled deeply.

“Would you like to go to Dipus Burger with me?”

Dipus Burger?  Of all the places to go, he picks a burger joint?

“Umm…sure, I guess.” I said.

“Great!  Meet me at one?”

I nodded my head and joyfully bounced back to his table.

*  *  *  *

I sat by myself in a booth along the windows inside Dipus Burger.  Not exactly a great setting for a first date.  I looked out the grease-stained window and saw the state trooper car pull into a spot…followed behind by, it couldn’t be…another trooper car.  He brought his friends?!

I put my head into my hands in defeat.  I was going to be surrounded by cops.

I fell the cool whip of air rush by me as officer Roto opened the door into the restaurant.  He came striding over to my table as the rest of his group walked up to the counter.

“What can I get you?” he asked politely.

“I’ll uh, just have a fry and coke I guess.” I wasn’t big on greasy slabs of so-called beef.

“Coming right up m’lady!” and he scurried off to join his tan-uniformed brethren.  He returned a few minutes later with a tray full of food.

“So,” he began as he bit off a large bite of his burger.  “I haven’t even introduced myself.  I’m Robert Roto.  What’s your name?”

It took a minute for what he said to register with me.  I was too distracted with the half masticated cow in his mouth as he talked.

“I err…sorry,” but before I could finish, the rotund officer slid in next to me in the booth and put his arm around my shoulder.

“What’s up bone-diddlies?” he said.  “Hey Rabbit, whatcha got here?  Some fresh meat?”

“Go away Farva!” Robert, or Rabbit, said.  I wasn’t sure which he preferred to be called.

“Hey Rabbit!” the other officers stood around the table.

“Can I help ya meow?” the red head said.

“No guys! Go away!” Rabbit exclaimed.

“You know what?” I said.  “I have an important meeting to go to.  I have to leave.”

And with that, I was able to get Farva out of the booth and walked as quickly as possible out of Dipus Burger.  Never again will I go out with any of these crazy state troopers.


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Categories: Short Stories

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